Driven To Distraction
by JenJenM
Summary: Surprise?... AH Bella AND Edward. Starts after high school graduation.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This chapter is going to dive you to distraction LOL. I know I'm a hypocrite saying this because I have no patience. However please have with me what I can't have with myself. Edward and Bella are kinda in limbo, so give them a chance to hot up. There will be information missing and some confusion, it has been done purposefully but if you have _patience _(there's that dangerous word again) I will explain it all. Will you trust me with your life? Okay a little dramatic your reading pleasure?...Maybe. Let me know what you think, good, bad, changes. I welcome your feedback, or beta's want to beat the story into shape...

Disclaimer: SM since when Twilight was written. Or B.O.B

EPOV

Jessica keeps acting really weird whenever I am around, it's getting easier to ignore her and focus on Bella. I get the feeling she's got a problem with me but I don't know what it is and I... sort of don't care!

"Hey Bella, are you coming over tonight?" I practically chirp, what is wrong with me? I might as well have jumped up and licked her face!

"Sure" I can't be too sure but she seems pleased at the fact of spending time with...Alice-and Rose" I have no idea why but I'm suddenly nervous. I go in for the one armed hug, squeezing her against my side. She squeezes me back and now the feeling's really something...

As we walk down the corridor Mike Newton roars his ugly head accompanied by his fellow dumbstruck _posse. _ I know my lips form a tight line,my natural reaction to unease.

"Mike" maybe derailing him first would prove a chink in his tyre, my greeting is cold but I got there first. I managed to see his left leg twitch slightly, this time I press my lips together to suppress a stubborn smile.

BPOV

Edward is one of my very best friends but there's something more, when I'm not with him I'm not quite right y'know.

Sure I would visit the Cullen's to hang out with Alice and Rose but Edward would find me an escape route. I smiled at this fact; everyone always wondered where we disappeared to for hours at a time. The excuse was always given by Edward, for all his merits, he was a good liar but I was still undecided about this trait.

It was like someone had turned on the Christmas lights early in me, so I was buzzed with guilt, triumph and anticipation all at once. I made my way down the Cullen's drive way with my overnight bag slung over my shoulder. Just as I reached to ring the bell Alice flung the door open and launched herself at me.

Wow, calm down ferret. "I've missed having you over, you should really stay over more often" She gave me a wicked smile and dragged me inside. "Rose our slave has arrived" Dear Saints help me! If you have any good thoughts about my volunteer work at the dog charity last week, please can I cash them in?

Rose hauled my right arm over to the sofa where she dumped me and proceeded to loosen my hair from the plaits. "So Bella what were you thinking? Audrey Hepburn up or Natalie Portman up...or there is Halle Berry short down?"

Was she being serious? She really must have forgotten Renee's near heart attack when I got glue in my hair and they had to chop it down to a bob. The problem was really my mom's I'd wanted my hair short but she refused, college wasn't far off maybe I could claim it was part of a sorority initiation. Who am I kidding? She knows I'd n ever join a sorority it's much too...for me.

While Alice painted and Rose curled I took in the big house, it really had been a while since I was last here. It was as stunning as ever, the high white walls that look sophisticated and modern and the ceiling to floor class which added elegance and even more beauty if you could believe it.

No one spoke to me as they were deeply occupied in their tasks. I took to trying to practice my Spanish in my head. This lasted oh-two minutes before I resigned myself to at least being fluent in English.

I started to twitch from my body being held in such a contorted position "Please could you hurry I'm starting to get whiplash my neck feels like your digging your knee into it. They both laughed my torturers and continued their vile little game.

Right I reached my limit I couldn't try not to think about him anymore, where was Edward? "So where are the guys?" I asked attempting to make my voice sound nonplussed.

"Oh, they're picking up the food and drinks" Rose answered casually. "Oh" was all I said I was going to ask them about their respective relationships but I didn't feel like being reminded about being the only single one in our group.

EPOV

Geez! Emmett and Jasper were moving so slowly, I had trouble holding in insults. "Edward that's the fifth time you've rolled your eyes, are the hormones from your transgender op really getting to you now?" Emmett held his stomach laughing at his own joke, well he wouldn't be for much longer.

I sprinted towards him, I was almost to him when I felt the impact from my side. There Jasper stood grinning slightly winded too. He eyed me for a minute and relaxed when I began to laugh at him, but one person was laughing way too hard. Jasper and I looked at each other and nodded, our smile depicting something evil.

BPOV

Finally I was dressed and being pushed towards the full length mirror in Alice's room. I glanced up at my reflection and stopped. I looked-sorta...nice. I was wearing a denim dress with a brown belt and stone waterfall shrug. My military shoes were a nice brown with a small heel, giving that slight rock chick edge. I liked it and had I had the good sense to put together something like this, I would have worn it; it was quite suited to my taste.

"I like it" I said hesitantly. "Of course you do Bella, it was orchestrated by the Cullen sisters, beautiful and fashionable". I frowned at Alice, she was never short of conidence. Holly s'moshhh they looked gorgeous!

Rose was wearing a brow flesh dress with a dark green cardigan and black sandals. The other Cullen sister wore a short puffed sleeved blouse with twig prints and satin green skirt with cascading scrunches on the left side. The look was finished off with black cardigan, waist belt and an orange converse.

We all turned when we heard the door bell ring, as expected Alice squealed and Rose rolled her eyee and I laughed at both of their reactions. Alice led the way followed by Rose and I brought up the rear. My pixie dearest ran to the door and opened it, ushering the boys in with food. I had thought the Cullen's were angels but now they must have been.

They had food enough to feed the five thousand! Well not quite that much, but how many people were they planning on having over? "Er, how many people are coming over?" I queried.

"Just a few, the usual crowd y'know, maybe the whole of the senior year" I nearly collapsed, I was not informed this many hormone filled teenagers would be gathering. Low key was what I was told, that's why I said yes, that's what I preferred. I gave Alice the meanest scowl I could manage; apparently it wasn't very good as she stifled a laugh.

"Hey!" the boys exclaimed after they had unpacked the Volvo. Jasper and Emmet hugged me then moved along to their respective partners. Edward hovered in front me after we hugged "You look nice, have my sisters been cruel?" He teased.

I felt the heat on my face "Erm, thanks" I looked down and continued "It is the Cullen sisters after all" He chuckled at my statement.

"Enough fraternising boys upstairs- your outfits are laid out- get presentable" Her tone was imperative. "Girls out the back!" We did as were told. I never-

Outside was wonderful! There were white lanterns hung above us and there were a few tables and chair with a dance floor set up in the middle. I was adamant this would make the whole senior year's dreams' come true. "Place all the food along those tables to the right side, we're going buffet style in other words get it yourself!"

My paralysis took over each time I lifted a tray. There was a huge selection of expensive food, chicken, fish, salmon with the teenage frequents like burgers and chips. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was starting to feel like that guy from one foot in the grave, my cousin had commented he never believed anything.

The boys were dressed quickly because ten minutes later they were stood beside us helping with the final preps. _Ding Dong! _Sounded the first arrivals. While Alice busy bee went to let the _crashers _in, I thought how trusting Esme and Carlisle were to leave their kids unattended to throw a party for about a hundred rowdy eighteen year olds. There was no way I could have persuaded either Renee or Charlie to agree to this. Charlie would claim _these things were a breathing plaec for corruption and he should know as a police officer_.

Escorted over by Alice were Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Eric and Angela. My heart skipped grateful to see one or two friendly faces. Everyone said their hello's and hugged each other. It got a little awkward after ten minutes when the small talk died down so Alice went to put on some chilled songs.

When she didn't return I decided I needed to escape so I feigned needing the toilet, Edward followed claiming I may have forgotten where it was. I still knew my way but I didn't deny him his get out clause. "Thanks" He smiled appreciatively.

"Yeah I wasn't sure who would kill you and eat your caracas first Jessica or Lauren" He rolled his eyes and laughed. She was everywhere! Alice breezed pass us on the stairs to welcome the part goer who had rung the door bell. Edward and I stopped curiously to see about another ten people at the door.

That was it I set off up the stairs and I could hear Edward after me. "Do you still need the bathroom or did you ever need it?" He cocked and eyebrow at me accusingly.

"No" I blushed turning my eyes to my intertwined hands.

"I knew it, we are way too anti social if we're planning on going to college this year it's something we need to work on" Although he was joking he made a valid point.

"I suppose" My tone was serious as I thought about what he had just divulged.

"You don't need to worry Bella, people naturally gravitate to your kindness even your enemies" I had to smile at him. Rose stomped upstairs "What are you two doing?" "Alice is on the war path, she said you better drag your butts downstairs unless you want it fed as bacon!"

I leaned backwards the little pixie sure knew how to deliver I threat. I looked nervously at Edward "We better go, I don't want her offering up my pound of flesh to the Gods" He nodded his ascent and took my hand.

Outside was almost packed now- the music filled the air was calming and low allowing the chatter to bumble over the top of it. Most people were seated, when we finally joined our table of the first twelve arrivals we heard the microphone echo "Hi guys, thanks for coming- schools out so enjoy yourselves and don't do _anything remotely_ bad, now eat and dance"

Everyone cheered Alice, I had to give it to her she was a real host, going to all the tables and making conversation, when she finally reached ours she dropped in the chair and tucked into the food Jasper had accumulated for her. "Thanks Jazz" she gave him a tiny smile and continued her assault on the salmon.

The evening wasn't going as badly as I expected no one had upset me yet and I hadn't fallen in to red panic. I mostly chatted with Edward about him going to Dartmouth, it was reassuring to know that I'd have him there...and the rest of the Cullen's too. Emmett, Jasper and Rose would be in their second year but the gang would still be together.

Later on the crowd moved to the dance floor with music now pumping through your veins. I moved a little not wanting to risk my lack of co-ordination being exposed at such a glamorous event. "May I have this dance?" I spun round to be met by Edward.

His middle ages tone made me smirk "Of course dear sir" I placed my hand in his outstretched one. This type of formality would probably indicate we would sway to something slow but the music hadn't changed. He started to break it down in front of me, I tried to copy and keep up unsuccessfully but it was fun. The song changed to Nothing On You B.O.B and he started to sing it to me. I didn't like this song but I had to say it was growing on me. My body froze as he came closer and held my hand-

A/N: this story has been rated higher because it will get less appropriate so be warned. I hope you guys are interested in another chapter. Next chapter the party continues with scandal- a possible cheat, fight and steamy mirrors...


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guy's I hope this chapter fills in some of the blanks ;-) Happy reading**

**POV: Bella**

**Disclaimer: Meyer's. My little AU springs from that.**

"Bella" My breathing hitched at the sound of my name. I swear I could feel a heater held up against my face and neck. I concentrated hard on my friend standing in front of me.

"I wanted- I mean – I wondered – if you- would-" _What Edward! What! Spit it out for god's sake! _My inner voice screamed at the top of her lungs.

Unwillingly my gaze left his face following his own- landing on a hand.

_A hand?_

Oh...right.

Someone was trying to get his attention, connect mind and body Bella, I scolded myself.

"Edward!"

Okay one second, rewind- what the heck is going on?

This sound did not reflect the low and gentle tones of before.

_Urghh_

_Snap back to reality, be present!_ I chanted.

Yes. I am not far from the straight jacket, I keep one handy.

"What. Are. You. Doing?"

I wanted so badly to go back to that moment now, just ten seconds ago when Edward was wondering something, but loud speaker wouldn't put a cork in it!

Apparently ignoring the interruption wasn't going to be an option as she stepped in between us, blocking me with her back.

My heart started frantically and halted.

"Breathe Bella" Obviously Edward had noticed the rise and lack of fall in my chest, I hurriedly took a breath.

"What - is going on?" I whispered to him.

The laugh that pierced the air was sarcastic with a hysterical edge.

"Please Lauren not here" Edward's eyes bugged out to gesture to the now silent onlookers.

I felt so confused, he was begging- what did he want 'not here'?

I let my eyes search his but they were guarded, hardly the conditions for cluing me in.

I couldn't stand there much longer, I wanted to but I couldn't. The scrutiny from the hungry teenage faces made me resolve to escape. After all, I was not part of the current _proceedings._

This whole thing seemed surreal. I didn't even know what was going on! To be honest I was only mildly interested because what Edward was about to say to me still occupied the larger part of my brain.

I struggled with the infinite options, from something stupid to what I hoped. My head was all over the place, a bowling ball in inexperienced hands.

"Erm, I'm going to get something to eat" I told him coolly. Though inside, irritation mingled with disappointment and dread. Before I had time to turn the full 180 away, Lauren grabbed my elbow and spun me around.

"Let go of my hand Lauren" I could hear the silent threat in my voice.

It was clear there was something going on between them. I mean _Lauren_ of all people.

Whatever. This was none of my business and damn it I wanted some of that spiked punch.

_ Ha_!

Ironic the thing I wanted to turn to, because this whole thing felt like I had been _punched_ in the stomach!

Edward made a move forward to try and disentangle me from her grip, but I shook my head at him. I was a big girl and I could take care of myself just fine without his darn help!

This whole situation was confusing. But with what I knew of Edward's relationships with girls, this was just like him - leaving some open wound in his wake.

"Look Lauren, I don't know what's going on-" She cut me off before I even got a chance to distant myself both physically and blamelessly from this bizarre situation.

"-Then should I tell you" She stared into my eyes wildly, smiling all the time. I tried to loosen my elbow from her grip.

Edward grabbed my elbow from her grasp, putting her off balance. She stumbled backwards slightly and fell flat on the floor.

He looked at me.

_What? Huh-_ I didn't have time to figure what he was trying to communicate to me. I suspected though it was along the lines of 'sorry'.

I pried my eyes and thoughts away from him. "We need to help her".

"It's fine Bella I can take care of this" I deliberated, I didn't really want to be there anyway so I nodded and left him with the girl and the crowd.

I walked up the stairs to Alice's room, I wanted to go home but what would Charlie think of me returning home two days early?

I slumped on the bed and took off my shoes.

Thank god I knew where everything was.

When I returned from the shower Alice was there waiting with a robe. "Thanks" was all I said, taking the robe and putting it on.

She came to hug me. Only Alice and Rose knew the truth of my absence for the last year and of course Alice had to tell Jasper, but she said he already had a _feeling_.

I had to stay away I couldn't stay here and watch him date _her_?

_No. _

_Stay and fight?_

What was I supposed to say '_get rid of that ugly blonde and be with me?'_

I couldn't say it because for the most part I was gutless and for the rest, she was gorgeous- model like even. My objection would have sounded stupid, even to the blind.

The way they were always together PDAing up like it was going out of fashion. It turned my stomach to think about it.

That night a few months ago, when Alice called me to tell me that Tanya had moved back up to Canada, I wanted to run over and tell him how pleased I was that very night. But Alice talked me down from the mountain of stupid.

She told me to give it some time, get back our Bedwardness. I had laughed so much Charlie had come in to check if I was okay. She had a point, what if that..._thing_ was gone between us?

So we planned. Edward and I would..._reconnect_ and by the graduation party we should have it together.

Well Alice engineered the last part, I only agreed to first. It seemed like everything was going fine, till tonight with the, um..._commotion_.

"What is up with that whole thing anyway?" How long ago had I retreated?

"Sorry Alice" I bit my bottom lip "So Edward didn't mention anything at all?" She rolled her eyes. "Lauren?"

"No"

Then how was I supposed to figure out what was going on?

"Bella, honestly don't think about it too much Lauren was drunk".

That struck a chord with me, I envied her right now. "So what's happened with her?"

"She's fine, Edward drove her home"

_Take care of her_?

He wanted to take care of _her._ It's fine Edward go and take care of _he_r.

I couldn't help the mean tint to my thoughts. Edward didn't want _me_. He could have been with _me_ and let someone else take care of Lauren.

I am so dense, how could he want me? He hadn't told me, I hadn't asked and I hadn't told him how I felt. We were just getting back to being friends. What was I thinking? Stupid lamb!

It hit me.

There was always going to be another _her_ wasn't there?

There would be even more _hers_ in college. Maybe I was fighting fate, trying to be his..._her_.

This thought filled me with sadness as I leaned against Alice and balled into her shoulder.

_Something shook me._

_Something shook me._

_**SOMETHING - ONE - SHOOK ME!**_

I sprang up from the sofa bed and flung my arms and legs out wildly into the darkness. I'm sure this wouldn't stop my attacker but it would sure give the bugger something to think about.

"Bella it's me, Calm down"

"Edward?" I didn't really need to ask because the perfect sound of his voice was unmistakable.

I didn't want him thinking I assumed it was him. Okay that was stupid but feigning incomplete recognition was a weird small piece of revenge for involving me in this earlier _debacle_. He probably wouldn't notice but I did.

_What?_

I'm not really a big fan of revenge. I know my _technique_'s warped, but each to their own.

"Edward, what are you doing down here, what time is it?" I scrambled over to the where the lamp was to turn it on, bumping into the sofa bed on my way. I kept my minor pain to myself by biting into my lip, I didn't want his sympathy or kindness.

As I reached for the lamp something swatted my hand.

"Edward what are you doing?" I whisper screamed.

"Sorry, I was trying to stop you from turning on the lamp but I accidentally swatted you, well at you" His last words were a little rushed, get drunk and had a good time with Lauren did he?

"Why?" Was all I could manage, even more exhausted now.

"Well, I don't want the others barging in while I'm trying to talk to you and plus Jasper and Emmett said something about whopping my-"

"-What do you want to talk about Edward? It's late – well early- oh, you know what I mean!" I couldn't restrain the irritation from reaching my brain. I had hardly slept the party concluded at one thirty, which after I helped Alice clean up and hit the sack.

"Well if we could sit down first" "Please" he added to placate me.

"Fine!"

But, seriously where was all of this anger coming from? Sure, I was tired as hell but that didn't warrant taking it out o Edward although I had a reason to be pissed at him.

I did as he requested. I walked over to my bed and sat down, I felt him join me as the bed dipped to my right.

"I'm sorry about earlier Bella" His breath whooshed onto the side of my face, it was _warm_ and it _tickled_ my ear. I hadn't realized he was sitting so close.

"What about?" Hopefully my voice sounded as confused as I tried to make it.

"For starter's not finishing what I had to tell you, and embarrassing you, also letting that idiot touch you for so long!" There was an angry edge to his voice I didn't understand.

"Well thanks Edward and you did still get her off me, that's something at least right?" I started to laugh; soon I was joined by him. The way the bed shook beneath us caused reverberations to charge into the air.

All of a sudden he was even closer to me than before, his laughter ceasing and his hand covering mine.

I cleared my throat but my hand remained where it was, tucked underneath his own, on my lap.

"So Lauren was drunk huh? Guess we can thank Taylor for that" I said while shaking my head in dark like he could see me.

"I don't want to talk about th-at right now, I want to tell you what I wanted to say before" At his words the atmosphere charged to 260 shocking my body into hypersensitivity. We were so near to each other, connected.

I wonder if he felt it too because it took a long moment for him to continue.

"BellaIlikeyou" My body froze then galloped off, my pulse racing for stakes in the Kentucky Derby. His mumble was hazy but I thought I just heard him say -

"What did you just say?" I asked dumbly.

"I like you Bella" "When you stopped talking to me last year...I felt...out of sorts".

Really? He didn't seem to display any sign of being affected by my aversion to him.

"At first I thought it was because I lost my best friend but...I-I realised that I liked you, I tried to ignore it but it-you kept bugging me, then when Tanya left a couple of months ago- the feeling was more...er persisting than ever"

Okay, so he just admitted he tried to deny he had feelings for me and tried to get rid of them. At the same time I wanted to shout 'are you kidding me?' I remembered the last bit, maybe it had gotten too hard for him to pretend, like me.

It had become a daily fight with myself, _don't look at him Bella, don't smile, don't care. _I had felt the same, I kept wishing for anyway to stop feeling anything for him. I think if there was a way I would have taken it. Everything became so painful seeing him and having memories lobbed at me left and right.

The amount of time wasted in denial. It was so melancholy.

Although, he should do some suffering, try dealing with this since thirteen when the _cruel_ Gods decided to play a _cruel_ trick on you. Your hormones kick in and the next thing you know you like a boy who happens to be your best friend.

Thanks community of Rulers, you really know how not to bowl a tricky strike. By the way, thanks - because I think, I'm not sure my head's rushing and I feel like I'm on a different plane but I think - said boy just admitted he liked me too, so no cigar.

"I know you know my um deal with dating, but I want to be your boyfriend – that's if you want me to- and why would you – my previous attempts at dating crashed and burned, but okay look - I want to try Bella I promise I will" He paused and stroked my hand with his own, _oh_- that felt nice..

_Edward wanted me?_

_He wants me_

_Me!_

I felt like getting up and cart wheeling down to the stream and then skinny dipping, but alas that was a stupid idea it was pretty dark out, best to stick to movie in my head.

Continuing his speech "I know we're friends, recently even that again and this could possibly complicate everything but I want you. See even now...just talking like this – I couldn't talk to anyone like I do to you, I feel like myself when I'm around you"

The moment's I had imagined this moment, longed for it. It was amazing – in its own way – I mean I didn't foresee the whole crazy bitch part, but factoring in the dark and his hand, it was almost perfect.

He squeezed my hand and turned my attention back to responding.

"Right, in simple terms, I like you – there I said it" I wanted to see his face, but the low chuckle that came told me the smirking expression it must have held. This made me uncomfortable, yes I wasn't overly emotional, but that leads me to my next point.

"If you want to be my, uh, boyfriend – I'm gonna need a bit of honesty, starting with Lauren –what happened there?"

"That's fair" It didn't sound very fair from the way his tone seemed to change to stoic. "I started seeing Lauren after Tanya left..." He waited for my response but he wasn't going to get one because I was wilting beside him. My fear confirmed.

I listened, waiting for him to get the hint I would not reply.

"So" _Finally_ "It wasn't for that long or even that serious"

Again he had to slam my organs backwards. _There you are broken up and you get the chance to tell the girl you actually like that do you do blah blah blah and you rush into the arms of lascivious Lauren._ _What a way to show you care?-_

_Argh!_ When was I going to catch a break? I removed my hand from beneath his. He took note and lifted his empty hand from my lap.

"Edward, how can that not have been serious, mere hours ago she tried to thrash us in public and start a fight with me?"

"I know" Sadness echoed from what he said. "I thought we both knew what we were getting into, that's why we agreed to...see each other in secret - but last week she told me she loved me and..."

_Last week! Secret dating?- What did this all mean?_ My head hurt with the effort to process.

"I broke up with her- well I'm not sure that's the right word, we were never really together"

_You must me joking me with this crap. No wonder she was so angry. This explained everything crystal clearl._

"I didn't want to lead her on because I knew I wanted to be with you-"

"Look Edward, I _can't_ have my emotions messed with. I know you care for me...in your own way and you wouldn't intentionally hurt me...but, from the sound of it that's exactly what would happen to me and I'm not sure I'm willing to take that chance" I thought I heard him sigh but he didn't say anything. It was better to stop the train now than when it careering off track.

"I would rather like you and stick with the idea of how things could of turned out, I'm not one of those people who falls in and out of like quickly and easily" I was doing my best to explain how I felt, but it didn't seem _right – enough_.

**EPOV**

I thought of the two people Bella had dated during the eighteen years we had known each other. They had been slightly geeky and quirky like her...I think one was called Jacob something, whatever it's irrelevant right now.

I had to focus, make her understand.

"Bella, I know, that's why I've been straight with you. I'm gonna screw up, Id' say it's cause I'm human but generally it's me"

**BPOV**

I tried not to laugh, honestly I used a lot-well a little of my strength, but I caved. My body trembled from the muffled laughter passing through me.

I could feel him searching for my hand as he patted the bed. This changed to grasping as the sheet appeared to being pulled near me. I had deliberately placed my hands behind my back.

Trying to subtly lean in, my face collided with his.

"Sorry" My squeak was fitting. I did wish that I was as small as mouse right that minute.

"It's okay" Another sweet, warm breath wafted onto me, invading my mouth this time.

Was I breathing? If not-

"Breathe Bella" I repeated psychotically to myself. Thankfully he didn't seem to hear my murmurs.

His soft hand started to stroke my left cheek, instantly I melted against his touch.

Everything seemed quiet except for my breathing, I was out of control. Not content with the friction from one cheek, he began to assault the other, with slow, maddening trails. My eyes rolled backwards into my head.

Thoughts were gone, thinking was overrated - a thing for nerds and squares who didn't have Edward caressing their cheek.

After a minute he shifted on the bed - his hands moved to cup the sides of my head. The anticipation buzzing inside me exploded when his lips pressed to mine.

I was hungry I had waited so long to feel our lips together. He pulled me closer and kissed my bottom lip from left to right, lightly pressing. His teasing was relentless as he repeated this the opposite way. My irregular breathing became even more erratic.

He traced his tongue along the line of my closed lips - asking permission, coaxing me.

I submitted and opened my mouth to allow his tongue to enter...

**A/N: So what do you guys think? I know I'm mean but so is life, left you dangling ;-) With a preview at my first time attempting to write anything smutty, what are your thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys, I've been lazy-terrible excuse but I appreciate you enough not to lie. I can't promise that I will update regularly, but this one of my favorite stories to write so...**

My hand traced the planes of his chest, our tongues tangled together giving and taking. The fire which was traveling through my body collected together in one and settled in my stomach. I could feel myself on the edge-

"Edward" My voice was pleading against his mouth. I knew if we continued we would regret it. Not the act but the timing. Things were unsettled between us and damn it if went any further I would crumble.

He pulled back to look at me "Are you okay?" He suddenly looked nervous, I smiled at the uncertainty, he was human after all. "Bella, what's wrong, have I-"

"-No Edward" I stroked his right cheek with my hand.

Instantly recognition flitted across his face, he understood what I was saying. He nodded his head leaning forward to kiss the side of my mouth sighing as he did so.

"I understand Bella" The sadness in his voice showed he really did.

"It's not that I-" I begun before being cut off

"You don't have to explain" A tense silence fell between us, as a result I could feel the rigid set of his body beside me, while my left foot tapped lightly on the floor, not loud enough to make a sound but reverberatingly enough for him to feel the action. My unyielding foot stopped still under his touch. Was there nothing he noticed?

"Can I I-I...ask you something?" I felt his lips at my temple briefly gone as soon as it had appeared.

"Yes" I said into my lap.

"Was I the reason you y'know- er, didn't, come around anymore?" A chill ran down my back, was I ready to explain my abrupt disconnection from him?

No was the honest truth but how else could I explain? I wrung my hands in my lap.

"There were some" I gulped "things going on" I finished with one little falter.

"Things?" Damn probing.

"Erm, yeah- Edward do you mind if we don't talk about it-right now" There it was, it wasn't exactly true as I hadn't answered his question directly but there were some things to think about, mope a bout.

Not seeing his damn face was killing me and the lack of light being shed on his thoughts were frustrating.

"That's fine" he acquiesced.

I got to my feet and shuffled past him to flip on the lamp. Turning back to scrutinize his face, it irritated me to find he had covered any reaction he had with that calm collected exterior. This had always been one of his problems.

If it the last thing I did he was going to start being truthful with me. "What are you thinking?" I demanded tapping my foot.

His eyes were focused, too so. No answer came from the mute in front of me.

"This is exactly the problem Edward". "You couldn't tell me you liked me, then you dated two other people, that's why we're here now" I pointed between us. "If you can't trust me that's your problem don't force it unto me as well". "I laid my cards on the table despite my reservations and you can't even do me the same solid".

The death stare he gave me, made me recline from him. "Fine Edward, well I'm going to bed so if you don't mind, it's late and I'm tired and some _asshole_ has just barged in and interrupted my sleep".

Now he was a sight glaring at me, I returned the favor. I watched as he practically stomped out of the room.

I rumpled myself down onto the bed once his footsteps died upstairs.

I twisted and turned, no where on the verge of sleep.

My mind kept racing against my will with questions that gave no concrete answers.

Had I acted like a psychotic no, I was well within my rights to be royally ticked off at _my_…him. Yes I was a mean bitch but again he had it coming,

_Could I trust him? _

It bounced around in my head like a 300 pound man jumping on a bouncy castle.

I had lashed out because I was stung. Protecting my selfish self. I don't think I could handle the pain of losing him twice.

Honestly, him admitting he liked me changed every ridiculous particle in me.

Knowing his mo, how he operates scares me. I know I know him but I missed out a chunk, one that may seem relatively small but in the grand scheme of things is a defining one, senior year.

A person makes a decision about who they are and where they want be. I don't know that part of him, he could have changed completely.

This vulnerable feeling that I had which squeezed something inside my chest, didn't help.

He was- well I don't know. But it was on display for me to see again he doesn't treat chicks well.

Chicks was an apt word, we were all young and dumb. Thinking someone was God's gift to Edward Ferrars, yes I read old literature; it has the handle on some of this life shit.

One thing was for sure, if we ever recovered from my hissy fit and his tantrum- we had some serious getting to know you time ahead.

I like this guy, had since I became a teenager, I'm not saying I wanted forever but I wanted something good.

I made my decision even if my crazy was bordering on neurotic I will look out for myself. People can spout their poison about loving completely and being open to wounds but I say stick that shit I have one heart and damn sure if I'm not going to guard it with a ferocity that turns mere males to stone.

He had things to prove and so did I.

Let it commence.

Breakfast was an awkward encounter, prompting me to pray to my god just to allow the ground to open and swallow me up. Between Em and Jazz giving me pitying looks and Ali and Rose glaring at Edward, the whole thing was a tense affair.

I got up to wash my bowl, just to have some time to myself to work out how I was feeling and get out of the wretched glare death match.

"We have a dishwasher y'know" Rose blurted out when she realized what I was doing.

"It's okay, give my hands something to do" Emmett burst out into laughter. I gave him a pointed look and carried on. "The lack of carpel tunnel or on set arthritis whichever it was is starting to take affect".

"True" Emmett acknowledged my reference to the shit load of writing we had to do for exams and notes for revision. The whole process had left my hands twitchy- stupid education system.

I turned back to my bowl having done a quick inventory of the annoying as hell _intruder_ from last night.

He seemed okay. But he always seemed okay or wore the look of someone who was. The only time I remember not seeing the smokescreen was when we were kids. That long ago. Sure there were flickers of moments when I thought he was there but they were fleeting.

"I'm going for a walk by the stream" I announced placing my bowl in the drainer.

"Mind if I join you?" His request shocked the hell out of me. I was counting on his moodiness and avoiding me all day.

The answer is no vampire boy, you cannot. I really don't want you to on the account of the fact you're the one and I guess _me _that I need to think about and your crooked smile and glistening eyes will only serve to distract and confuse me more. So no thanks your presence would be unhelpful at this time.

I faked a smile, a very tight one and replied "Okay" Just okay did my mouth disconnect from my brain, what about that whole speech it drolled? Or was that torture just reserved for me? Sometimes I needed a good sudoku, something to distract my mind._ Ohh I wonder if-_

"You ready?" I looked at him and nodded.

He seemed to hang back a step or two behind me or did I walk that much ahead? Maybe I was trying to run- _very _slowly away from him.

Can I walk away from him though, really? Take eighteen years of friendship and flush it down the toilet like a college girl's puke. Surely he had a bit more staying power than that.

Call me clueless, because I am.

"So are you ever going to look at me again or – before we end up as college roomies?"

Pretentious prat!

Instead of expressing my irritation at his pig headed-ness, even in the way he chose to approach this awkward conversation, I took a safer route for all of us.

"Give me some time, I'm not bored of the scenery yet" Ha, mister charm assassin.

"Any idea when that will be?"

"Well it all depends on how long it takes for me to calm down and you say something that will convince me to"

The crisp fresh air blew the wind into our faces slightly. Causing me to look at the dewy grass for the first time since we stepped outside.

"That's a big challenge don't you think?"

"No not really considering how you made me feel, so you _owe_ me"

He sighed beside-behind me. I couldn't really help myself once he had started with his cool- nothing happened bullshit- just paper over it.

"I am sorry" He tugged at my elbow to stop me by the-tree.

I still didn't look at him "You seem to be saying that a lot lately" And we haven't even began.

"I- don't know, I guess when you wouldn't answer my question and I assumed …well..that I was responsible for you not coming around, I got a little angry.

I could see that but it's no excuse. "So you don't like it when people don't answer your questions but you like to pick and choose- a warped idea of fair you got their smart ass" My eyes flaring with anger we were finally square face to face.

"I deserve that-"

"You do"

"Will you shut up for just a minute and listen!"

"WHAT-" He covered my mouth with is hand.

"I'm sorry but when you painted that picture of me, I didn't like what I saw-t, what you were seeing- we've known each other since diapers to know you thought so lit-" I slowly removed his hand from my lips.

"I don't think little of you, you think I spend my time caring or telling people I think little of how I feel?"

There was silence between us for a minute.

"I'm trying to keep up here just tone down the incline for me and stop running away from me-I always feel two steps behind-" Weird that's how I always felt with his sudden decisions.

"I'm not running a-" He put his hand back over my mouth.

"I swear to god if you don't stop interrupting me I'm going to take my sock off and shove it in your mouth.

I felt my eyes bug out of their socket.

With a smirk he peeled away a little of his hand, giving me a warning look as he released me fully.

I took a breath and let out "Whoah and eww" I burst into laughter holding my stomach. I smacked him in the chest "I've never heard such a disgusting offer in my life"

He quirked a brow at me "Well you clearly you haven't spent enough time with Emmett…or me" I laughed the first bit was funny but the second part sounded different like he meant something else.

I put my arms in my jacket pockets. "About that two steps behind thing, don't worry" my tone got higher "it's a common thing- people are always steps behind me- you're lucky you're only two" He laughed and took a step towards me.

"That's one" He was narrowing the gap, I made a break for it but he caught me by the curtails.

"Always trying to run away from me, someone would think I was a monster" I squirmed and struggled in his grasp.

"That's because you are…or something" With that he tackled me to the floor, we fell tangled.

The dew on the grass touched my exposed skin as we had fallen like the world's worst ballerina partners. Suffice to say we would not be winning any of this year's awards for grace in _any_ sense of the word.

Smug tried to kiss me.

I resisted he hadn't earned it.

A moment later he had, I was strong at least I showed a hint of resistance.

After a make out session I pulled away. He tried to regain ground but I pushed at his chest.

"Edward" I bit my lip trying to find the right words.

"There's some stuff that I need to understand"

"Okay" The wariness in his tone alone made me revise the whole scenario, should I even be telling him anything at all?

**AN: Hope you are still here, these two have some potential- whether it be for disaster or destiny, we'll see.**

**Grazie x**


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